Back in Business?

Currently Watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force - The First Three Volumes see related

Free candy for harem members!

New Kaiser Elected

Nevertheless, the Cobra Kai persevered and held an election at the biannual Cobra Kai Conference in the city of Brussels, Belgium. The election was close, with Warpope Plissken nearly winning. In the end, though, there can be only one. Now, we bring to you the newest Kaiser, Koopernicus Brim! 

As Kaiser, Brim has made the following promises to us Cobras: 

World Domination by 2007

Free O’Doul’s on Tap in Every Snake Hole

Encino Woman, The Long-Awaited Sequel to Encino Man

All Hail Kaiser Koopernicus Brim!

Halloween Party Planned

Starting at 9 PM on October 31, the Cobra Kai will be proud to present the first annual Harem Halloween Hullabaloo. Already, many exciting activities have been planned, including: a Halo 2 tournament, and pizza and refreshments will be provided by the Kai. Directions to the party will be e-mailed out shortly.

Do remember that Cobra Kai parties are exclusive, and therefore only members of the Kai and of the Harem and their guests will be admitted at the door.

New T-Shirts Available

After two years in service, the Cobra Kai is finally retiring the “Survive Survival” official t-shirt in favor of a brand new design. The brand new shirt features the phrase “Peace Through Tyranny” on the front below the world famous Kai logo. Reserve yours today, because they will become mandatory to wear once we take over.

New Season of Attack Frisbee Starting Soon

With the start of a new school year starts another season of the Cobra Kai’s favorite sport, attack Frisbee. All those interested in joining should sign up at the local Snake Hole. Registration fee is $5. Prizes for this year are as follows:

Due to the amount of injuries suffered from last year, we are requiring that all players provide helmets and faceguards. In addition, all players must sign a waiver form and present proof of life insurance.

Did You Know? Due to a family history of diabetes, Kaiser Koopernicus Brim has a grudge out against the disease. Hence, he wants every Cobra to check his blood sugar and check it often.

A Housing Solution

With the rapid expansion of Arkansas Tech University, the lack of housing has become a troubling issue. While the board of directors at Tech have dragged their feet in coming up with a solution, the Cobra Kai has already presented their answer in a joint press conference with acclaimed rapper Snoop Dogg this past Monday.

The solution: Snoop Dogg will personally finance a new dorm, which shall be called the Shizzle Fo’ Nizzle Hizzle in honor of the rapper’s unique take on the English language. Said Cobra Kai spokesperson the Forked Tongue, “Dr. Brown, either accept this generous financial package or face becoming the laughingstock of the entire US educational system.”

When contacted for a statement, Dr. Brown refused to comment.

Currently Listening This Is Spinal Tap By Spinal Tap Hell Hole see related

We have finally recieved word from the European division of the Kai. We do in fact have a new Kaiser!
BEHOLD :

Currently Listening Styx - Greatest Hits By Styx see related

Unfortunately for you plebians, this will not be a long post. We are rather busy from sabotaging the space shuttle fleet and assassinating foreign leaders, so I, the Forked Tongue, will have to be brief.

In a little more than 3 weeks, we Cobras shall have our annual conference at an undisclosed location. Any trespassers discovered on these premises will be drawn and quartered on sight.

With a new school year beginning, we will be upping our Harem girl recruitment efforts. After all, we lost many a critical Harem girl due to purges this past year. But, we of the Kai shall work to improve the Harem conditions and might even consider better presents than Pogs (but that begs the question: what is better than Pogs?).

Word from our European division is that we might very well have a new Kaiser to oversee our operations. I haven't confirmed these reports, but once I do, I shall post a Kai-approved image of The Glorious Leader.

That is all I will reveal at this time. Further enlightenment shall come later, and may include such varied topics as parties, chemistry, world domination, and Halo.

Currently Gaming Halo: Combat Evolved By Microsoft see related

Hmmmm... you know, we were sort of cool once and posted on Xanga a lot and delivered Valentines and other cool stuff. Now though - we are not. However, the new Cobra leadership vows to make next Fall more interesting ( in particular, more interesting than this summer). How might you ask? Well, you’ll just have to wait and see